10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

9. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

8. Chuck Norris counted to infinity....TWICE.

7. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

6. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

5. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

4. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he doesn't push up, he pushes the world down.

3. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

2. Every Year on his Birthday Chuck Norris chooses one lucky child to be throw into the Sun.

1. When the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Honorable Mention

11. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.